Your internal motivation becomes an external motivation of your partner. When a sub has that great energy of service, when he really gets into the session, that energy in the sub bleeds over to the Dom. Seeing the enthusiasm, feeling it, spurs the Dom to new heights.
It flows the other way as well. A Dom excited to see a sub will encourage the sub to greater submission. This greater submission does not have to be pushing limits or tolerances, but the even better mental submission to be in the place they should be.
BDSM scenes are partnerships, both parties participate to the ultimate end. Both need to be engaged. The more engaged, the better not just for yourself, but the sub you are working with. Or the Dom, if you happen to be the sub.
Performers, public speakers, and others learn to read the mood of a room in order to be successful. An obvious example is a comedian in a club. If a few jokes about current events fall flat, he will switch to perhaps dating. Continuing on a line that the audience is not appreciating will not let him keep that gig. And as the audience responds in a positive manner, the delivery gets better. This is true of all forms of human interaction.
If you enter a room and see someone crying in sadness, your mood changes. Your mood can change as you discover a partner stressed. How you react is a response to them and how you are feeling. If you are also sad, you two could have a pity party. If you are elated, you can bring up their mood.
Having a sub come for a session and simply tying him up and delivering a few smacks to his butt while thinking of the roast you have in the oven will make the entire scene feel flat. He will know you are distracted. It will sap his interest. This is different from being aloof as part of the scene. Scene-aloof is still engaged, it is a veneer of separation while being fully involved. Being distracted sucks the energy from both of you.
A Dom in a neutral mood faced with a sub all but jumping in anticipation will be more driven. A sub approaching a session and seeing a wicked smile on his Dom’s face presaging untold experiences will have that combination of excitement and dread grow.
What is true for a scene is true for a lifestyle. A sub could have a bad day at work, so his Dom may need to hold him, or spank him, depending on what the sub needs and will be cathartic for the sub. A sub would have to adjust what he is expecting based on the mood of his Dom as well. The motivation of the one to improve the mood of the other will have an effect. May not be a complete change, but an effect nonetheless.
How your partner is anticipating and experiencing the scene will not be your entire motivation, but it will be a motivator. The mood motivation can be positive or negative, and it is incumbent on both sides to recognize and adjust with it. How you start out will make it to your partner, your passing time will make it to your partner. Good or bad, these are intimate times, there are few barriers in place, so what you feel is more open and you are more receptive.
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