I get occasional contacts on various platforms asking me to do a CNC session, often a kidnapping scenario where I take the sub somewhere to tie up and use. This is a very hot scene, as the sub struggles and resists. The idea of forcing someone to take what I give out is hot for me, and for the sub, the idea of being forced really gets their gears going.
It’s the resistance that makes it hot for both. One being forced, one enforcing their will on another. For a sub, it can relieve them of questions of what they would or won’t do. Here is where it gets tricky. I strive to be a Responsible Dom, I want willing participants in my sessions. I love making the subs who are under me do as I say, but each of them has agreed to submit. A sub I do not know is a different matter. He could be very willing, but since I don’t know him, I would not be as able to tell a real resistance from one he is doing for the scene. Safewords are great, but a newer sub especially may not remember to use them. There is a lot of risk in this.
Another risk is the sub deciding this is not a scene they really want to go through. If they never have, no matter how strong the draw, it may just not be for them. The subs I work with know me, and I know them. We know how to call a scene off if it’s just not working. By the time the Dom and sub know each other, a lot of the patina of a good CNC (consentual-non-consent) is gone. The sub feels safe with the Dom, so the fear of that Dom in a CNC scene is not there. As a Dom, I want to be assured the sub is up for and able to complete the scene. Something I can’t get if I don’t know him.
So here is the rub, the very thing that makes a CNC scene exciting is the very thing reduced by the needed familiarity of the Dom and sub. The more I think on it, the less I want to be the Dom who gets a visit from the cops because a new sub changed his mind. Which is a legitimate risk. The best solution to me, is for a sub to get to know Dom A who then arranges Dom B to start the CNC scene.
A lot of what we do is risky. I totally get how thrilling the idea of being forced is. That elevated thrill brings elevated risk.
