Quick orders, or fulfilling time, you may have to chose

 When a Dom and sub first come into contact, the temptation to give orders right off is high. The sub wants to show he is willing to take them, and the Dom wants to establish his control. It can be something simple, like fetching a beer. Or they can be more intense such as getting naked. One thing both sides have to consider is if that is the best way to start. 

Orders are part and parsel of the Dom/sub dynamic. Seeing if a sub will obey right off does help establish if it's worth going on. It can work out well. There is no set standard for when you can start giving orders, it has to be based on the sub and his receptiveness. It is also based on if either of you are looking for activities for right then, or if you want to go on for some time. 

Should both of you be looking for a simple few hours, how you get there is how you get there. If you have aspirations, from either side, the focus needs to be not the instant gratification, but on that longer time. Giving or receiving a standard set of orders makes it formulaic. Learn what intregiues each other. Have a conversation, relate what you did and did not like from previous encounters with others. You also learn each other's tastes and interests. How they are individual. 

Knowing the partner you are with makes everything so much better. Is it just exposing bare feet that gets to them? Think of all the exquiste time you miss if you don't know that. Think of the missed opportunities because of barrelling on. BDSM is about drawing closer, and knowing your partner makes all of it much more vivid. 

Regardless of the side of the slash you are on, don't rush to orders. Many Doms like me want to know a sub. I am not an "order factory" I do have orders I like my subs to follow, but I want to know how they will effect the boy, which does make it better for both of us. Otherwise I could post a page here and say "every sub do this". That's not satisfying at all. 

Where many subs are willing to take orders right off, this is not universal by a long shot. Depending on the sub, he may shrug it off or may see it as an over reach of authority. An authority that has not been established. Relative status on one side of the slash does not automatically qualify either for giving or receiving orders. A sub gets to chose who he obeys. He may offer obedience, or a Dom can discern that the sub is ready to take commands. Both are valid, so long as the Dom recognizes he may be mistaken. Which good Doms do. 

Holding back on orders is especially important if you are connecting online. In person, you have visual clues as to the sub's receptiveness. Online, it is more difficult, be more cautious as many Doms or subs do not like starting off with orders. Dialogue is better opened on different topics so you can give or take orders in a way that is more meaningful for you both.