The Missing Dom

Meeting someone for a BDSM encounter can take time to arrange. At a bar or party, two guys start face to face. With the internet, you can start a discussion with someone and get to know some things about them before you physically meet. Close or far, the important thing is you have common interests. Having chatted via email, messengers, and possibly voice and video calls. The time arrives for a physical meeting. Even if you have established a great rapport, meeting at a public place is advisable. What if one does not show up? Very frequently, the sub is the no-show. Sometimes however, it’s the Dom. 

With any meeting, there is a chance of a flat tire or an urgent call from work. It’s an easy thing to send a quick text, so the person you’re to meet knows you are delayed. If you arrange to meet someone, it’s polite to keep the appointment. There are times when the Dom is not the one absent when the meeting is to happen. A sub has found the courage to show up. I think it’s harder for a sub, especially a new sub, to go and meet with a man he has never met for the purpose of submitting to him. Doms should have the confidence to be at these meetings. Not being able to meet in a public place can be an indication he is not as prepared to control a sub. 

The Dom is to be in control, of himself, and the sub. From the initial meeting on. It may be the Dom does not exert direct control, but guides the conversation, usually soothing the sub into D/s discussions. Showing the sub that the Dom is someone to be followed. That can only happen if the Dom is there. 

Having bucked up the courage to go to a meeting, if the Dom does not appear, it can be devastating for a sub. So often, the sub could be great; obedient, willing, able to take a lot. A Dom not making an initial meeting can discourage them, take them away and all that service that could be enjoyed is gone. 

The start of time in BDSM is vital. If the person you have picked to introduce you is not there when you come, it can be derailed. If you are a Dom, be there for the sub. Start to guide him. If you are a sub, this can be the beginning of a fantastic new part of your life. Go to the meeting, find a Dom who you can trust and work with.