Brotherly Games: Mustard Chicken

   My friend Valentin is writing Brotherly Games, including descriptions of the fantastic French cuisine. As an added bonus, here is the first recipe you can make on your own in order to get more into the feel of the story. You can follow Valentin here. From chapter 10:

Mustard Chicken

-1- A la cocotte, tu fais revenir tes cuisses de poulet salées et poivrées sur un beau lit  d'oignons que tu fait cuire un peu avant jusqu'à ce qu'ils soient translucides.  

-2- tu peux rajouter quelques carottes que tu transformes en tagliatelles avec un  économe. Voire des champignons. Ensuite tu mets une bonne quantité de moutarde (environ quatre cuillères à soupe ). Tu fais un peu revenir, et tu couvres d'eau en laissant  apparaître les cuisses comme des îlots( si tu as un peu de cidre ou de vin blanc, tu peux  en mettre aussi). Tu laisses cuire a feu moyen 45'. Attention que ça n'attache pas, sache  rajouter un peu d'eau au besoin, sans faire une soupe.. Ne sale pas trop à cause de la  moutarde... Rejoute un peu de crème fraiche en touche finale... 

INGREDIENTS: (For Four)  

2 Onions 

4 Uncooked chicken thighs  

1 Carrot 

4-5 Button Mushrooms  

Real Mustard  

Cooking white wine  

Sour Cream 

RECIPE:  

First step: 

Chop the onions in cubes and cook them in a large pot with olive oil or butter. Stir until the  onions are translucid and add the chicken thighs that you will have salted and peppered  beforehand.  

Second step:  

With a potato peeler, chop the carrot in peelings. Chop the button mushrooms and add them in  the pot with the carrots peeling. 

Add four whole big spoon of mustard into the pot and then cover the chicken thighs with  water and half a glass of wine until they are almost completely under the water, stir to mix the  mustard and the water equally. Let the chicken thighs cook for 45 minutes on medium heat,  be careful not to let the chicken stick to the pot.  

Third step:  

If necessary, add water during the cooking. At the end, add a whole spoon of sour cream and  stir. Check the chicken, it should be ready!  

You can serve the Mustard Chicken with rice, potatoes, or even pasta.  

Bon appétit! 

Starting from No

 A sub wants to obey, so they start with “Yes”. A Dom does the opposite. Any idea, if the Dom comes up with it on his own, reads about, even if the sub approaches him, the Dom should start with “No”. A sub uses a safe word to signal a true “No”, within limits, any order should be met with a “Yes” otherwise. Doms need to examine any idea from the default position that it should not be done. 

Starting from not allowing the action, the Dom can now look to see if the activity is or can be made safe. Can the sub do it without damage to the sub’s psyche? Can the sub do it without jeopardizing family/friends/work? If so, will the sub have lingering effects? Sub can follow commands that might require recovery time. 

Consider a task of keeping the sub up for an extended period of time, more than 24 hours. Keeping the sub up all night would prevent the sub from performing at their employment. So the “No” comes from timing. It would be possible to keep the sub up all night when there is time for the sub to recover and not trouble their job. So it is really a “Not Now”. 

Starting from “No” is an exercise that builds safety and security into letting the action happen. Beginning with all the reasons something cannot be done, and finding how to permit each one insures it will go better. 

I’m not suggesting that every little thing needs to have a lengthy evaluation, having the mindset there could be a problem increases the safety factor. 

If the sub has a suggestion, if it’s simple, you can quickly run through it and agree. If it’s more complex, step back and say you will consider it. Go over everything away from the heat of action. Keep the decision making process and high emotion separate. 

Be safe, keep your sub safe. Enjoy each other much longer. 

Korbell's Tasks 4

Korbell is an unowned sub of my acquaintance. We both knew from the start we are not a D/s match, but we chatted. One day he asked for some tasks to try. These are the tasks and how he felt about them. If you try any on yourself or your boy, post and tell us how it went. If you’re interested in Korbell, get in touch with me I’ll forward on to him. Previously for his anonymity, these were "Evan's Tasks".

Task 3:

 Since you just did a task, this designed more to be a follow-up then a new one. You are already a bit heated, so let’s see if we can get you to go longer. The goal is to see how long you can hold out. You end by either cumming or deciding to stop. 

Queue up a series of porn videos.

Put on cage, collar, harness, ball gag head harness. Insert a silicone dildo in  your ass, dildo is more to hit your prostrate then just size. 

Attach the lovense to your cage with the robe tie and set it to a random pattern. 

Put on leather cuffs and fetters. Have your arms “locked” over your head, or somewhere you can’t move them (but can still free yourself of course). 

Watch the videos, see how long you can go. 

Results: 

This one was fun! Definitely want to do stuff like this more often. I got through a video and a half (about 25m each) before i couldn't take it anymore. Being edged is one sensation but this is another all on its own. Equally intense and powerful but it has its own strength, its own way of breaking down my strength and resolve to fight through it. 

Fiduciary Dom

 In any power exchange relationship, regardless of the terms used or level of exchange, it is more than the Dom giving orders, the power to give orders comes with the responsibility to properly manage the sub in a way that looks to the sub’s best interest. As a Dom the temptation, the great temptation, is to use the the sub for the Dom’s benefit. This is especially true if the sub is focused on the Dom to the detriment of the sub’s own interest. The sub pushing to be used is a further challenge to the Dom. 

A fiduciary duty is a long established (greatly financial) responsibility to look at the beneficiary’s interests, to manage in an ethical manner. It is easy to use the sub to the Dom’s advantage, to use his money, and his service. In a power exchange, this is acceptable so long as the sub is not taken advantage of. No matter how much the sub may beg for it, the Dom is responsible to look out for the sub, even if the sub thinks the Dom is going against him. 

What this benefit is may not be apparent on the surface. It may be long hours serving the Dom, sexually or not. It may be best for the sub to be loaned out to others. It may be chastity, or it may not. It could be monogamy. The important part is the improvement and growth of the sub. the sub may chaff and complain, but it is for his long term benefit. 

Let’s take an example of a power exchange relationship begun over a long distance. It progresses to the point where they want to cohabitate. The easy answer is to have the sub move to the Dom, get a new job. That is the easy answer. What if the sub has a decent job where they are now, but the best they could get is a fast-food one with the Dom. A Dom that insists on that for the Dom’s convenience is not acting as a good fiduciary to the sub. The Dom may need to move. They might need to delay until one or the other finds a suitable position and the move works for both of them - regardless of the direction. 

In an equal partnership, each would work with the other to come to a mutually beneficial decision. Jobs, homes, family, friends. All the factors that make up a life. When the sub cedes control, he also cedes duty. The Dom has to decide for both, taking on the part of the sub and fighting (albeit internally) on the sub’s behalf. 

In areas of small gradiency, it is fine for the Dom to act in his own benefit. Sure, all else being equal, the Dom’s house is 50 square feet smaller. So move to the Dom’s place. But if the relationship terminated tomorrow, the sub should not be worse off, or in an untenable position. 

The Dom must always be aware that the sub will offer up the sub’s discomfort to make it better for the Dom. This is something the Dom must discount and ignore. It’s not what the sub is expressing, even truly wanting that the Dom must consider, but the Dom’s ethical and fiduciary duty to the sub. 

The goal should be a neutral party looking at the decisions made and agreeing that the Dom acted well. The sub may be pushed, may have to struggle to obey. But it is improvement and growth.

Destructive Doms

 Looking for a partner in the vanilla world takes time, to find a partner Dom or sub longer as you have to find a variation. It is easy to claim to be a Dom or sub. Say you are, put on a profile, and you will get some level of attention. A fake sub will not obey after a while, and a true Dom will move on. A fake Dom will harm a true sub’s ability to serve. 

On the surface of it, the life of a Dom seems so easy. You want your dick sucked or your laundry done, your sub will hop right to it. You don’t have to do the friend thing of going over to their place to help them put up drywall or reciprocate sexually. Frequency and intensity are entirely up to you. No need for flowers, cajoling, or anything. Fuck him, cum, and send him to fetch you a beer. 

If that’s what you think a Dom’s life is I hope you never have a chance to try it out. Subs are like any living resource, proper nurturing will bring more reward than burning them out. Using up a sub not only means he can no longer serve you, but you have robbed all the other Doms who might have used him in the future. 

Yes, a sub is there to serve, but the sub has to get something out of it a “Satisfaction of Service”, the feeling they have contributed to the betterment of the Dom they are serving. This is a hard concept to grasp, as a Dom may not give obvious positive feedback, but the sub feels something in the connection service provides. Something in the Dom’s reactions tells the sub he has made a difference in a man’s life. Fake dom’s can’t exude the same quality. It’s like watching someone who is really confident and someone trying to fake it. Like there is a level of confusion or uncertainty the ‘dom’ has in getting served. There is an ease in a real Dom receiving service a lack of doubt. 

Humans have an ability to tell confidence, leadership. Fake leaders reveal themselves, fake doms do as well. Be it little things, the fakes will be noticed. It may take a sub some time to notice, but the evidence will mount. Here is where the problem comes in. The sub begins to feel an unease, their Satisfaction of Service fades and is not there. The sub will come to dislike the service, even serving itself. This pushes the sub away from submission. Especially if he is a new sub, he gets a bad feeling about it and will begin to withdraw service. 

Subs need to be fulfilled by their service. If they are not, they will no longer serve. It may be a “Good Boy”, expressions that things have been done well, or even simply saying “You are dismissed”, but service to a true Dom fulfills the sub, and inspires him to more. A fake will leave the sub feeling empty. 

True Doms provide positive guidance to a sub, encouraging him to improve his servitude, his entire life. The sub is bettered in all ways, and that betterment reflects on the Dom. 

Grow the sub, not only will your sessions be better, but all the other Doms he serves will have a better sub to command. Destructive Doms tear a sub down, leaving him unable to serve, unwilling to serve. 

Safe to the edge

Safe words are an important part of the BDSM lifestyle. Scenes of extreme impact play, bondage, humiliation and so on require a way for the sub to indicate actual distress. ‘Actual’ distress because reactions such as screams or ‘please don’t’ may be part of how the sub is thrilled during the scene itself and not an indication distress or desire to stop. The agreement between the Dom and sub that the safe word is the actual stop is vital. 

BDSM goes further than physical discomfort or pain. It can, and does, have an impact on the mental state of the participants. I do not see or say this as a negative impact. In cases the mental impact can be negative in the short or long term, as such the Dom and sub need also look at their mental states. It may be a flash of past trauma. 

Lighter activities don't carry the same level of need for safe words as heavy ones do. But I have them in place as a blanket protection. As small as it is, I want to know there is a clear signal for a problem. If I'm giving a light spanking to an unrestrained sub, he would be able to stand up in an emergency - and might react that way faster than safe wording. 

But even the most innocuous of activities could have an unexpected result. I once had a sub with a very negative reaction to me putting a bit in his mouth. It was emotional and surprised him. 

Do safe words take some of the edge out play? Yes, but in those (always hopefully passingly rare) cases they are needed, they should be in place. The regret when they are not, the damage that could result is too great.

If you want to return the edge so slightly blunted by a safe word, use them in a constructive way. Have a sub with a bondage fetish but fear of exposure? Perhaps when bound, let the hear the sound of a camera, then show them the pictures you took of the floor or your foot on their phone.  

The importance of safe words being pervasive is not because every single activity we have needs them, but because when the activity does require them, they must be not second nature, but first nature. 

When the safe word is capable of dulling the edge, that is when it is most needed.

Korbell's Tasks 3

Korbell is an unowned sub of my acquaintance. We both knew from the start we are not a D/s match, but we chatted. One day he asked for some tasks to try. These are the tasks and how he felt about them. If you try any on yourself or your boy, post and tell us how it went. If you’re interested in Korbell, get in touch with me I’ll forward on to him. Previously for his anonymity, these were "Evan's Tasks".

Task 3:

Put on a collar.

Pick up your apartment so the floors are clear (pictures maybe -if you want me to gauge before and after)

Mantra: “I will obey my owner when he appears. I work for my owner until he takes me.” Repeat this mantra for 40 minutes while standing facing a corner on your toes.  Hands behind your head.

Put on nose hook harness and anal hook. 

Do the dishes. If you don’t have a lot of dirty ones, re-wash a set so you are spending at least 20 minutes. (pictures before and after to see how many you did). You can go longer, but this is not designed to be a quick task.

Run the Wartenberg wheel up and down the shaft of your hard cock, at least 4 up and 4 down.

Still in the hook and harness, scrub the floor, I am expecting a scrub brush at least, toothbrush if you want a harder job. Do at least the living room, you can add the bath/bedroom if you want more. 

Turn on the Lovense, or if you have a stronger vibrator, use that, but wrap it in a pillow and soft towel. The idea is to have the towelled pillow vibrating. Hump this until you cum. 

Results:

Did that task. I must have been super eager to get to the rest because I completely spaced the mantra even though it was right there in the instructions. I didn't have many dishes so I cleaned the whole kitchen instead. It was pretty intense. I was at least semi hard the whole time and I was leaking puddles of precum. The anal hook is probably my biggest weakness. Something about it just takes me places no other toy can and Omg I didn't realize the wartenberg could be so evil! It felt like I was being taken right to the edge of cumming and then being told I'm not allowed to cum but that I have to stay close except I never got close. I moved on to cleaning the floors with a wet microfiber rag. The living room is wood floors but there's a huge area rug covering the entire space so I did the kitchen and bedroom. I love the feeling of my hard needy heavy useless cock dangling under me. I got so close to cumming again with the vibe and it was more intense than having the vibe inside me if only because of the hook. I got super close to cumming but I couldn't physically keep going long enough to cum. 😭