Findings of Fault

 Subs screw up sometimes. They may be late for an appointment, for which you can punish them for a reason. Bring your tea in the wrong mug, when you punish them for that. In this second case, it’s an excuse to do the punishment. How was he to know what mug you wanted? Taking that type of punishment is part of being a sub. Subs get punished for real or imagined faults. 

Some faults are bigger. More than being 10 minutes late for a session. It could be an endemic issue. Like talking too much or at inappropriate times. These are habits brought in from before service times that need correction as they are a fault of the sub. Failure to keep up with diet and exercise regimens are another. Clearly the fault of the sub, and something the Dom needs to correct. Carrots and sticks, however the Dom decides will be most effective. 

But I don’t want to talk about those. I want to talk about fault when orders are carried out as they were issued. Say I gave my sub a list of tasks he has to drive around town to compete. I detail his path, give him 2 hours and he goes right to it. Returning 3 hours later. A failure, he has taken too long. Why? If I deliberately gave him less time than needed, I know that and can proceed on the scene I’ve started. He’s failed, but knows I set an impossible goal for him. But if it was something he could do in 2 hours, did he lollygag? Or was there a massive traffic back up that made it impossible to do in the time limit. Lollygagging should be punished. I typically do not punish for external factors totally out of the subs control that prevent him from obeying as I instructed. The traffic problem may be an excuse I use for some fun, but my subs are so crestfallen in failing me regardless I don’t need to add to it. My subs also know I am “punishing” them for fun. Another Dom may go differently and that is fine. It’s how the dynamic works between a Dom and a sub. 

Let’s now discuss disastrous consequences of a sub’s obedience to orders. Who has the blame if it goes pear-shaped? What if the sub obeyed perfectly, and there are problems as a result of that obedience. Here is my example. Say I loan my sub S out to my acquaintance A. A I know isn’t a Dom. May like to boss around some, but not a Dom-type. And he’s not “lucky in love” in the vanilla scene. So I loan him S for a weekend. S is used to being loaned out and servicing the men I send him to. He has orders to give the full boyfriend experience to A. Get all mushy and do things how A wants. I order S to be sure A has a great time. 

The weekend happens and A reports S did exactly as instructed. A felt like he won the lottery. Perfect obedience. I’m proud of S for following instructions. When S returns and reports he mentions that A let him go very reluctantly. Saying S could stay and be his boyfriend, that they would be great together. That they could do it again, anytime. S reports that he is concerned that A has lost the idea that S is a slave obeying orders. Alarm bells are going off in me and S. 

Sure enough, A has fallen for the fantasy S provided. A keeps calling and texting S. Sending gifts, showing up when S is out doing things. A has become a full on stalker of my sub S. A professes he loves S. Contacts me to arrange another weekend, even offering cash for S’s services. S reports he is scared of where things are going. Is S to blame in this scenario? S obeyed orders, probably even seeing A getting too attached during the weekend, but obeyed nonetheless. S’s only fault is obeying too well. Not really a fault at all. 

So now I have a sub in genuine fear that A will disrupt his work and home life. If I could have predicted A’s obsession or not is actually irrelevant. The problem has come up. In this article, I’m not looking for the solution, I’m looking at fault. Who is to blame for this?

I am. I’m the Dom. I made the decision. I issued the orders. If I knew of the risks or not has no bearing on the placement of fault. A perfectly balanced friend I send S to for the weekend could fall for him as well. How can I punish S for the problem we have? He behaved exactly as I wished. A confirmed he was perfect in his execution. S is now scared of A’s actions and punishment would only tell S that he should be disobedient. I have jeopardized my sub’s life and quite possibly his service to me. If A cannot be checked, I as the Dom have to deal with the consequences. I am duty bound to fix it for my sub. I caused this problem. 

Let me throw another wrinkle into this: what if the weekend was S’s idea? What if my sub, for whatever reason requested to be loaned out “A always seems lonely, maybe you should give me to him for the weekend to cheer him up?” I am still at fault. It is still my decision that brought on the problem. No matter how much S may have hinted or outright begged. I am still the Dom, I made the choice. It is my responsibility to know what is best for my subs. My sub suggesting or begging me for anything does not mean I have to do it. I may know it’s bad for them. I may see issues that could come up later. My sub may be thinking only of his carnal desires. He may be asking to do something he suspects I want to do but have not ordered for whatever reason. None of that changes anything. 

If I order it, I am the responsible party. My sub is the tool that makes the order happen. The tool is never at fault. Many (most?) subs look primarily to the short term. What would be fun now? The Dom is responsible for what would happen as a result. Taking on the Dom role means taking on the responsibility of your orders and what happens as a result of your orders. 

My sub can come to me and say “I want a flogging”. If I’m not in the mood to do that, I won’t. My decision. If he leaves unfulfilled, I have to deal with that. Too many times, he may go looking for another Dom. Nothing the sub says, does, or insinuates requires me to do it. If I chose to order it, I do so knowing I made the choice of my own free will. My sub has given me the power to make these decisions. His urging to any level does not change that it is mine. And my responsibility. 

If I raise welts on my sub when I am belting him, I have to care for him. If I put him in an untenable position, I have to fix that. He is only in that situation because I ordered him to be. He may have wanted it, but I ordered it. Throughout it all, I have to be the comfort for my sub. I have to be the one who he goes to. I have to be the one who restores his faith in me. Again, this is not how to fix this issue, this is just only to address the fault. 

I may have to confess to my sub. This can be uncomfortable, and a lot of Doms do not think they ever need to apologize or admit fault. That is their choice. But if you make such an acknowledgement or not, it is your duty to fix it. Not issue an order to “just get over it”, but to actually resolve the problem. 

The more of his life my sub hands over to me, the more responsibility I have for making sure he is safe. He gives me control, I have to be a good custodian of that control. The more blindly he follows my instructions, the less I can blame him for any negative consequences that come of it. Power and responsibility are so linked that you cannot have one without the other effectively. 

I know subs who have surrendered a lot of power to Doms, and discovered the Doms do not take the responsibility that entails. As a result, they end up withdrawing service. Take the example of financial domination. If I take all my subs money, leaving him unable to pay rent or buy food (I would never do this), he can no longer serve me financially. So he withdraws. I’ve just seen a case of this in the last day or two. It is a betrayal of trust, it is dereliction of duty. If the sub loses trust is his Dom, he has no duty to remain in service. 

Subs can tell if they are being punished because the Dom has put them in a situation for which punishment is inevitable. They accept it. Subs accept they may not know the reason for orders they get. When subs can no longer trust that the Dom will protect them, look out for them, the grow in fear and begin to look for a way out. 

Subs chose to serve. It may be the only choice they made, but it is their choice. A Dom who does not earn the trust of a sub will find himself without that sub.